In the Zone
by Riiko Shea
Summary: So what was the bang?" "A firecracker." "It didn't work?" "No, obviously." "Hmm... what would startle him out of it?" Some of the Harry Potter characters are zoned out, and their friends have had enough.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I was zoned out during my free period one day when I suddenly got this idea and decided to write a dialogue- only oneshot… I hope you all like it! (P.S. It's Ron/Hermione with a bit of Harry/Ginny as well… don't like, don't read!)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**In the Zone**

R: "Harry?"

Hr: "I told you, he isn't going to answer. He's tired."

R: "You mean he's in Ginny-land… HARRY!"

Hr: "See? Not even blinking."

R: "Grr… Harry, Voldemort's back and is plotting to kill you!"

Hr: "Now that was low. And he still isn't answering. You should really give up now."

R: "I won't! He's bugging me, just sitting there, staring into space… HARRY POTTER!"

Hr: "… And how is using his last name going to make him listen? You sound like your mother."

R: "HEY! That was mean!"

Hr: "Ronald, you're an idiot."

R: "Don't call me Ronald… Harry James! Hellooo? Anyone home?"

Hr: "Wow… he's even farther out of it than I thought…"

R: "No kidding… look, I just pushed him over and he didn't even blink."

Hr: "I've been here the whole time. I saw it."

R: "Hmm… d'you think he's still breathing?"

Hr: "I'd say that I was pretty certain that he's still breathing."

R: "Just making sure…"

Hr: "M-hmm."

R: "He's still breathing… I want him to stop being so zoned out! It's annoying the hell out of me!"

Hr: "I noticed."

R: "Ah! I know!"

Hr: "Wha-"

R: "…"

Hr: "…"

R: "…"

Hr: "…"

R: "…"

Hr: "Ronald! What was that about?"

R: "Damn… I thought THAT would get a reaction…"

Hr: "Ronald Weasley! Answer my question!"

R: "Ah. Well, that…"

Hr: "I'm listening."

R: "Hermione…"

Hr: "I won't get it until you tell me using big boy words, Wonnie. I can't read your mind."

R: "Don't call me Wonnie! What the-"

Hr: "Ron! Just tell me what you're hedging around and be done with it!"

R: "Gosh, you're supposed to be the smart one! Do I have to say it? I like you! I've had a crush on you, since, like, third year."

Hr: "…"

R: "Hermione?"

Hr: "W-what? You l-l-"

R: "Spit it out."

Hr: "Oh, you are so insensitive!"

R: "And you're impossible!"

Hr: "I can't believe you!"

R: "Ditto here!"

Hr: "I don't want to ever see you again!"

R: "Fine then!"

Hr: "You're not supposed to say fine! You're supposed to stop me!"

R: "Would you make up your mind? Do you like me or not?"

Hr: "I…"

R: "Hermione?"

Hr: "I do, Ron. Like you, I mean."

R: "Really?"

Hr: "Yes."

R: "You're not pulling my wand, right?"

Hr: "Urgh, I hate that expression… stupid Fred and George…"

R: "You didn't answer my question."

Hr: "No, I'm serious, Ron. I do-"

R: "…"

Hr: "…"

R: "…"

Hr: "…"

R: "Well, now. Any complaints?"

Hr: "No."

R: "Ha! Thought so… want to go for a walk?"

Hr: "What about Harry?"

R: "Eh, I've given up on him. I've got something more important to think about."

Hr: "I'd have to agree."

R: "Let's go, then."

G: "… Harry? Are they gone?"

H: "Mm? Yeah. They're gone."

G: "FINALLY. I could hardly breathe under there… Do you just shove all your junk under your bed or something?"

H: "Er… yeah, that's the idea."

G: "Psh."

H: "Come, now, was it that bad? Your sacrifice got Ron and Hermione together, you know."

G: "True… nice job with the zoning out, by the way. When they started snogging, I was pretty sure you'd hurl… I would have."

H: "It was a struggle, but I managed not to."

G: "I did hear something fascinating under your bed, though… what's this about a 'Ginny-land'?"

H: "Nothing."

G: "You're blushing… you are such a bad liar."

H: "Only when _you're_ around."

G: "Yep. I'm a witch, huh?"

H: "Yes."

G: "…"

H: "…"

G: "…"

H: "…"

G: "Are you going to go into Ginny-land now?"

H: "…Maybe. I'll try not to."

G: "Okay… oh, hey, Ron."

H: "Ron?"

G: "Why isn't he answering?"

H: "RONALD!"

G: "Uh-oh…"

H: "What?"

G: "Ron's in Hermione-land."

H: "… Oh brother."

**A/N: **There… not sure I liked the ending… I'm slightly contemplating making this into a two- or threeshot, perhaps having, say, George come and knock Ron out of Hermione-land… I honestly don't know, so please review and let me know what you think, even if it's one word!

))Riiko Shea((

(P.S. If you like Ron and Hermione, try my story "Speak!")


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Okay, here's another chapter of "In the Zone." For no apparent reason.

Ge: "Hey Harry, Ginny."

H: "Hello George. Hello Fred."

F: "Other way around."

H: "Sorry Fred, George."

F: "Just pulling your wand. You were right the first time."

H: "I should have guessed that."

Ge: "Don't feel bad Harry, Ginny can't tell us apart either."

G: "That's a lie. I so can."

Ge: "Can't."

G: "Can."

F: "Can't."

G: "Can."

H: "Enough, you three. Ginny, let's go get something to eat."

G: "Sure."

F: "Have fun… by the by, where's ickle Ronniekins?"

Ge: "And Hermione?"

F: "Wait… they're both not here… Harry's blushing… by gosh, George, you don't think…"

Ge: "No way, Fred."

H: "No way what?"

F: "They've… they've done it, haven't they?"

Ge: "They're finally together?"

H: "Yeah."

G: "Yes."

F: "Merlin's bright pink thong, FINALLY!"

G: "Merlin owns a bright pink thong?"

F: "That's beside the point, Ginny."

Ge: "Exactly. The point is, Fred owes me three Galleons."

F: "Oh, right, I'd forgotten about that… wait! Harry, did they snog?"

H: "Um… yes."

F: "HA! Then you owe me FOUR Galleons, George!"

Ge: "…Damn."

G: "Wait… you were placing bets on Ron and Hermione?"

Ge: "Well…"

F: "Yes, actually."

Ge: "I bet Fred that Ron and Hermione would be together by the end of this year."

F: "And so I bet that they would be together, and but they would also have snogged by the end of the year."

G: "Ah. I see."

F: "Yep… anyways, George, you'd better pay up, or you're in trouble."

Ge: "I will, I will."

F: "Good… anyways, where _are_ Ron and Hermione?"

H: "Well, Hermione could be anywhere. But Ron is upstairs in Hermione-land."

Ge: "Really?"

H: "Yeah… Ginny, can we PLEASE get some food now?"

G: "Yes, yes, of course. Fred, George, don't permanently damage Ronnie when you go up there and get him out of Hermione-land, 'kay?"

Ge: "How did you know that's what we were going to do?"

G: "Get real, George. You two are so predictable sometimes. Anyways, Harry, let's go."

H: "Okay."

F: "Ron?"

Ge: "Ickle Ronniekins?"

F: "Oh, blimey."

Ge: "I honestly thought that Harry was exaggerating…"

F: "Obviously not, George."

Ge: "Well, I think we need to get our lovely brother out of Hermione-land."

F: "All right. Let's start by doing this-"

Ge: "Hm. That probably wasn't a good idea… you lose brain cells when you hit your head on the floor, and Ron doesn't have too many to spare."

F: "True. Something safer for the next attempt, then…"

Ge: "Nah. Let's set off of firecracker under his arse!"

F: "… All right! D'you have one with you?"

Ge: "Of course. Wow, Fred, you underestimate me."

F: "Sorry, brother. Okay… there! Back up!"

Ge: "OI! That was bloody LOUD!"

F: "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, GEORGE!"

Ge: "… yes, you can."

F: "I can."

Ge: "I know."

F: "Ron?"

Ge: "Wow… he really IS out of it."

A: "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? GEORGE WEASLEY…"

Ge: "Oh crap. Angelina."

F: "You're in trouble now, George."

Ge: "What? So are you!"

F: "No, I'm leaving now, quickly. Tootles!"

Ge: "What-"

A: "GEORGE!"

Ge: "Yes, Ange?"

A: "Where is your brother?"

Ge: "Went out the window."

A: "And why didn't you follow?"

Ge: "'Cuz you'd track me down anyways."

A: "… yeah, you're right."

Ge: "I know."

A: "What were you two doing, anyways?"

Ge: "Ah, well, Ron and Hermione got together-"

A: "FINALLY! Katie owes me a Galleon."

Ge: "… All right, anyways, they went for a walk, and did a bit of snogging. So when Ron got back, he immediately entered Hermione-land."

A: "So what was the bang?"

Ge: "A firecracker."

A: "It didn't work?"

Ge: "No, obviously."

A: "Hmm… what would startle him out of it?"

Ge: "I don't know… possibly getting killed…"

A: "George!"

Ge: "Joking, Ange. Uh, snogging, maybe."

A: "Oh, well that's no issue, then."

Ge: "It… isn't?"

A: "No."

Ge: "Oh-"

A: "…"

Ge: "…"

A: "…"

Ge: "…"

A: "There."

Ge: "… Wow, Angelina…"

A: "Shut up, you arse. Ron? Ronald Weasley?"

R: "WHAT THE HECK, GEORGE? THIS IS MY ROOM!! GET YOUR OWN!"

Ge: "Ha. Told you it would work."

A: "I never doubted you, George. Let's make good on your brother's suggestion and leave."

Ge: "Right."

R: "GOOD!"

Ge: "Hermione?"

Hr: "What, George? Hi, Angelina."

A: "Hi."

Ge: "Could you go placate your boyfriend, please?"

Hr: "Why do I have to- wait. Placate my WHO?"

Ge: "Oops."

Hr: "Who told you?"

Ge: "Uh…"

Hr: "HARRY!!"

R: "HERMIONE!!"

Ge: "Ron wants you."

Hr: "Urgghh… COMING, RONALD!"

Ge: "You sound like you're already married."

A: "George… Hermione, relax, I'll kill him later."

Hr: "Fine. Bye, Angelina."

A: "Bye, Hermione."

Ge: "You're going to kill me later?"

A: "Unless you can persuade me not to."

Ge: "I'll get right on that."

**A/N: **Hm. Not very many people seemed to like this story, but I enjoyed (?) writing it. So here it is… please, even if it's only one word, let me know what you think!

))Riiko Shea((


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Another chapter, for no apparent reason.

S: "Um… George?"

L: "I've been trying to get him to get off the kitchen floor for a while now. He's just not responding."

S: "Why?"

L: "I don't know."

T: "I do, I think."

S: "Hey, cous."

L: "Hello, Dora. Now, what, exactly do you know?"

S: "Nothing."

T: "Sirius, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Professor, you sound like you're giving me a test."

L: "Sorry."

S: "Not sorry."

T: "Whatever. Anyways, Professor Lupin, I meant that I know why George is just… I dunno, zoning out."

S: "Why?"

T: "I caught Angela leaving the house looking very red in the face."

S: "Wha- _oh._"

T: "No duh."

L: "Ah. So, if for James it was Lily-land, then for George it's…"

S: "Angelina-land?"

T: "Yup."

S: "Okay, we've got the diagnosis-"

T: "Ooh, big word, Sirius."

S: "Shut up, _Nymphadora._"

L: "Oh, touché."

T: "Hey! Whose side are you on?"

L: "Uh… anyways, what were you saying, Sirius?"

S: "Huh? Oh, right. I was saying that we know what's wrong with him, but that doesn't explain what we're going to do about it."

L: "True."

T: "What did you guys do with James?"

L: "Well… _this_ often worked."

T: "Bugger, that looked cold."

S: "It was… a chilly ten degrees above freezing."

T: "And he didn't even flinch…"

L: "He must really like that Johnson girl."

S: "Either that, or she's one good snogger."

T: "Sirius! You're so, so… unromantic!"

S: "And that's an insult how?"

L: "Stop arguing, you two. We want to get George off the floor. It can't be comfortable."

S: "More importantly, he's sitting right in front of the cabinet with cookies."

L: "…It pains me that we're the same age."

T: "You two! Let's stick to the task at hand."

S: "Right. Next step is to apply force."

T: "Sirius!"

L: "What were you doing carrying around a piece of plywood?"

S: "Well… I don't know, actually."

L: "You don't know?"

S: "Hmm… no."

T: "GUYS! George is BLEEDING!!"

S: "You're a witch. Heal him."

T: "Oh… right."

L: "Nicely done. Is he still in Angelina-land?"

S: "Yes."

T: "This is getting annoying. Flick him."

S: "No reaction."

L: "Right… I'm out of ideas."

T: "So soon?"

S: "You sorry excuse for a Marauder."

L: "Do you two have any ideas?"

S: "…"

T: "…"

L: "I thought not."

S: "I'm thinking, give me a second… right. Okay, Moony, let's get a spell to hang him upside-down on the ceiling."

T: "That'll bring him back?"

S: "Possibly."

L: "Okay."

S: "George? Can you hear me?"

T: "Guess not. Next idea?"

S: "… what do you thi- Ah! Fred!"

F: "Hey, what's George doing hanging from the- Oh, he's in Angelina-land?"

L: "Yes."

F: "All right, I've got this. It's relatively easy to get him out, actually."

T: "Get on with it, then."

F: "George! Snape's got wind of where we're keeping our stuff and he's going to go burn it!"

Ge: "Bloody hell, Fred, go stop him- why am I upside-down?"

F: "There you go, folks."

T: "Nice, I'll have to remember that."

Ge: "What happened?"

F: "You were in Angelina-land."

Ge: "Oh. Can someone get me down?"

L: "Of course."

Ge: "Thanks. I'm going to go prank Ron. Later."

F: "I'm coming, George."

S: "Well, that was exciting. I'm taking my cookies now."

L: "…You do that."

T: "Give one to me."

S: "Here."

T: "Thanks."

S: "All right, bye."

T: "Bye."

L: "Good-bye."

T: "…So."

L: "Well."

T: "Why did you run out of ideas so soon? By all accounts you were the most brilliant Marauder- came up with the best pranks and all."

L: "I don't know. I guess… well, things just changed."

T: "Thanks for that observation, Sherlock."

L: "You wanted an answer, I gave you one."

T: "I'm sorry, Remus."

L: "It's okay."

T: "So what else got James out of Lily-land? In case I ever have to try to get someone back into reality again."

L: "Well, something like what Fred did might work… sometimes we would just cart him to the lake and throw him in… tell him the Slytherins had won the Quidditch World Cup… and sometimes Sirius would have a snogging session with his newest girlfriend in front of him."

T: "So, the shock factor."

L: "I suppose."

T: "D'you think there's a reverse shock factor?"

L: "Possibly… what's a reverse shock fac-"

T: "…"

L: "…"

T: "…"

L: "…"

T: "So, how do you feel, Professor?"

L: "Bloody… _hell_… Dora…"

T: "There, you see, that's the reverse shock factor."

L: "Tonks, please kiss me again."

T: "Why?"

L: "It's in the interest of discovery."

T: "What are you trying to discover?"

L: "The reverse shock factor- and whether there's a Dora-land."

**A/N: **I think this is probably my least favorite chapter, but we'll see… if you read this, please, please review!! I want to know what you think, no matter what it is. Even if it's one word!!

))Riiko Shea((

(P.S. If you like Ron/Hermione try my story "Speak!")


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Oh my gosh, I haven't updated this in a while. Sorry, folks!!

Anyways, I'm sort of running out of ideas… I know the next few chapters are going to be our past couples searching for Remus, but eventually, they have to find him. And then I'm at a loss.

So if anyone has ideas of some couples I could do, I'll do them!

Now please read and enjoy! (And review, of course.)

**

* * *

**

In the Zone

S: "Oh, there you are, Moony. Did Tonks leave? …Moony?"

B: "Hey, Sirius."

S: "Hey, Bill… MOONY!"

B: "Okay, that hurt my ears."

S: "Sorry. Can you think of any way to snap Remus out of Dora-land?"

B: "Um, he isn't here."

S: "He's right next to me."

B: "Um… how much firewhiskey did you drink today?"

S: "WHAT? He was just… oh-"

B: "Don't let Molly catch you talking like that."

S: "Moony! Moony, where are you?"

B: "I'll look this way."

S: "Right. I'll go this way. I don't know where he could have- Harry! Have you seen Remus?"

H: "No…"

S: "Ginny?"

G: "No, I was somewhat occupied."

S: "Okay, way too much information."

H: "Why are you looking for Remus, anyways? He's a big boy, he can take care of himself."

S: "Not in his current state, he can't."

G: "Wha- oh."

S: "Darn right, oh. We need to find him."

G: "Right. Come on, Harry."

S: "George!"

Ge: "What the BLOODY- damn you!"

A: "Hello, Sirius… can we help you?"

S: "Yes. First of all, stop doing that on my couch. Secondly, have you seen Remus?"

A: "I saw him a second ago. He was kind of… I don't know, dazed looking."

S: "He's in Dora-land."

Ge: "Wouldn't that mean that he's just sitting somewhere, totally zoned out?"

S: "Not with Remus, apparently. As he is in so many other things, Remus is unique."

A: "Oh, brother… I guess we'd better find him. George, put your pants on. Let's go."

Ge: "Fine. We'll meet you here in a bit, Sirius."

S: "Right."

F: "Sirius, what's wrong? You look troubled."

S: "I'm missing Remus."

F: "That's nice, but isn't he involved with Tonks?"

S: "Not that way! I mean like I don't know where he went, and he's in Dora-land, and he's going to do something stupid!"

F: "Ah. That _is_ a problem."

S: "Will you help me find him?"

F: "Sure, why not."

S: "Ron!"

R: "Eh?"

He: "Hello, Sirius. What can we do for you?"

S: "You can help me find Remus, that's what."

R: "I don't get it."

S: "Remus is in Dora-land, and he's gone missing. He wanders around when he's in such a state."

He: "Oh, I get it. All right. We'll find him. Come on, Ron."

R: "Right, coming."

S: "Don't worry, Moony!! We'll find you!"

**A/N: **And the search begins. I'll hopefully have the next chapter up on Monday or something… maybe.

Anyways, please leave a review!

))Riiko Shea((


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Wow. It's taken me a while to update this story… I'm sorry! School is just so busy… sigh.

Anyways, here is another chapter. For no apparent reason.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah. It isn't mine.

**In the Zone**

H: "Remus?"

G: "Professor Lupin? Hello?"

H: "I have no idea where he could be."

G: "Me neither… you don't think he Flooed anywhere, or Apparated, or anything, right?"

H: "In his present condition? Unlikely."

G: "Yeah…

H: "…"

G: "…"

H: "…"

G: "You do realize that this is neither the time nor the place?"

H: "I do and I don't care- Remus!"

G: "Professor!"

H: "Um… Remus?"

G: "Flick him."

H: "Nothing."

G: "Darn."

H: "Let's see… chocolate!"

G: "Eh?"

H: "He loves chocolate! Remus does, I mean."

G: "Oh. Okay, here's some."

H: "Remus? Here, want some chocolate?"

G: "Why are you talking to him like he's two?"

H: "I don't know. It just fit the situation."

G: "Oookay, whatever that means."

H: "Hush. Remus, take the chocolate, for Merlin's-"

G: "Oh crap."

H: "He's gone again… damn, he's fast. I looked away for a second..."

G: "Let's go keep looking. Hopefully someone will find him soon."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

R: "Remus? Remus Lupin?"

Hr: "Professor Lupin? Where are you?"

R: "This is hopeless. This house is huge! Who knows where Remus could be?"

Hr: "Don't be such a pessimist. We'll find him… after all, in his state, how far do you think he can go?"

R: "True."

Hr: "There!"

R: "Remus!"

Hr: "Thank goodness we found you… we were afraid you were… going…"

R: "He's totally out of it, isn't he?"

Hr: "A bit, yes."

R: "More than a bit… looks like a right fool, he does."

Hr: "Ronald! This is your professor you're talking about!"

R: "Ex-professor, Hermione. And he can't hear me. Remus Lupin loves Arthur Weasley! Tonks is having an affair with Harry! See, no response."

Hr: "That's because everything you just said is absolutely ridiculous."

R: "Not so! He could love my dad, you never know!"

Hr: "I most certainly do know! Don't forget that Remus is in this state because he was snogging with a girl."

R: "Or so we think!"

Hr: "Or so we –see you later, Professor - know! Come on, Ronald, people saw them snogging. Witnesses! Unless your father used Polyjuice Potion, which I doubt he- Oh my gosh."

R: "Reeeeal smooth, Hermione."

Hr: "Enough poking fun at me! Come on! We've got to find him!"

**A/N: **And the search continues. Please review, and leave some ideas as to what happens after they find Remus!

))Riiko Shea((

P.S. Also, how old do you think Remus should be in this story? It is sort of AU, seeing as Sirius is alive, yet Tonks/Remus, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, and George/Angelina exist, so...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **After some thinking I have decided that this will be the last chapter of "In the Zone", for now at least. I have started a Ron/Hermione multi-chapter and I don't want to have three multi-chapters going at the same time (The other is a Marauder Era story, "And Then Came the Rain").

Anyways, if the Ron/Hermione story doesn't work, I might come back to this one, but for now, it's the end. Thanks so much to my readers and to anyone who's reviewed, and check out my other stuff, if you'd like.

**In the Zone**

Ge: "Come on, Angelina. The sooner we find Lupin, the sooner we can get back to-"

A: "Oh, don't be mean. You know he'd be searching quite hard for you."

Ge: "Maybe. If Tonks wasn't there to distract him."

A: "Hush, come on."

Ge: "Oh my gosh! Remus! Don't move!"

A: "Wha- NO! SIRIUS, GET UP HERE!"

Ge: "I can't hold him back- he's too strong!"

S: "What's wro- why the hell is Moony trying to jump off the balcony?!"

Ge: "I don't know, now help me!"

H: "We heard yelling… oh crap. Let me help!"

G: "Be careful… Ron, go help them!"

Hr: "Oh, goodness, go, Ronald!"

R: "Why… bloody hell, Remus!"

S: "Grrr… Stay strong, men! Together, we shall save our beloved Moony!"

H: "Ngghh…"

R: "Well… said…"

S: "Remus! This is foolish! You're a wise man of forty, now act like it!"

L: "FORTY? I am NOT forty! I am a sprightly young fellow of thirty-six… why are you all on the floor?"

S: "When you came to, we all went flying backwards, what do you think?"

L: "Oh."

T: "Remus, I heard shouting! What's going on?"

L: "Ah. Well…"

H: "Yeah, Remus. What happened?"

L: "Um…"

S: "Moony?"

L: "I… I thought I saw Tonks and, well, I was trying to get to her."

R: "… okay, I'm sorry, but that is THE lamest excuse I have ever heard for jumping off a balcony."

T: "Aw, I think it's sweet. You'd think it was sweet, if Hermione did the same thing thinking it was you."

R: "No I bloody wouldn't! She might fall!"

Hr: "You'd be there to catch me, though, right?"

R: "Of course."

Ge: "Okay, this is getting beyond sappy. I'm out. Ange?"

A: "Coming."

L: "Tonks and I should get home-"

T: "Where there are no balconies."

S: "You're finishing each other's sentences now? That is beyond creep-"

T: "You mean cute, _right,_ Sirius?"

S: "Of course! What did you think I was going to say?"

T: "Oh, I don't know. Come on, Remus."

S: "… Okay, well, I'm leaving to get some more cookies. Can never have enough of those."

R: "Um, right."

Hr: "Good-bye, Sirius."

H: "And now it's just us four."

Hr: "Like the good old days."

G: "Except better, because in the good old days, I couldn't do this…"

H: "…"

G: "…"

H: "…"

G: "…"

R: "MY EYES!"

Hr: "Aww…"

G: "What do you say to that, Harry?"

R: "Harry?"

Hr: "Oh brother…"

**End**

**A/N: **Review!


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